THE PARENTING CHRONICLES: REAL STORIES FROM REAL MUMS (AND DADS)
Introduction: Can you share a little bit about you and your family:
Greetings from the Tan family. I’m Ferlyn, proud mummy of 2 boys, aged 4 years 6 months. Living on a sunny, tropical island in Singapore.
Opening up: Can you share a turning point in your motherhood journey? Was it a joy, a challenge that made you stronger, or something else that spaced who you are as a mother today?
Returning to work after maternity leave can be a significant turning point in my motherhood journey. It brings me a mix of emotions from guilt and anxiety to excitement and empowerment. Some aspects such as emotional adjustment, having to leave my child in someone’s care, logistical challenges by balancing work and family responsibilities. Rediscovering myself as a professional and as a mother role. But I always remind myself, it’s okay to take my time and always prioritize my own needs. Letting go of perfectionism and embracing imperfection is definitely a beautiful turning point in my motherhood Journey. To remember that imperfection is a natural part of life and parenting. By embracing it, I can focus on what truly matters, nurturing my child, building meaningful relationships and living a fulfilling life as a mother.
Finding your balance: Motherhood has so many facets. How do you find harmony between your roles as a mum, your personal identity, and your career or passions?
As mothers, we are always called upon to be as multifaceted as we can be. Definitely not always the easiest things to do but at least to me, the most worthy. I always remind myself to understand my values, priorities, and goals. Be clear on what I want to achieve ultimately and to provide the best for my child within my means. To set boundaries and establish clear limits between my different roles to maintain a healthy work-life balance. At times, I prioritize self care by making time for activities by nurturing my mind, body & soul.
Support systems: We all need a listening ear or helping hand sometimes! Who are the people in your “village” who uplift you on your motherhood journey?
Having a supportive “village” is crucial for a mother’s emotional and mental well-being. My village consists of my spouse, family members, trusted companions who listen, offer advice and share experiences. Friends or even acquaintances on social media who understand the challenges and joys of motherhood, provide empathy and connection. Support groups and communities that share similar experiences, offering guidance, wisdom and encouragement. As our village may evolve over time but that’s okay! I always remind myself to surround myself with people who uplift and support me and to stay away from negative energy that will greatly affect my emotions.
Advice for new mums: If you could go back in time, what’s one piece of wisdom you’d give yourself as a brand-new mum?
Always trust myself and my instincts to make decisions that feel right for my child. Navigate
challenges and uncertainties with confidence. To prioritize my own physical and emotional well-being and always ask for help when I need it. Always remember, motherhood is a journey not a destination.
Celebrating motherhood: In the whirlwind of daily life, how do you carve out moments to celebrate the gift of parenthood, big and small?
To celebrate the gift of parenthood is essential to cherish the journey and create lasting memories. Having mindful moments, pause and take some time during the daily activities to truly connect with my child. To reflect on the joys and be thankful for everyday. Capturing memories and celebrating milestones on important events like birthdays or achievements. Lastly, to appreciate the little moments and making the most of my time with my little family.
